On a Warm Summer Night

It's a warm August night and our fan is running on high, as are the various ceiling fans throughout the house. Skittle is sleeping on the TV tray in front of Don's chair in the living room. Randy and I have both tired of scolding her and chasing her off. She's so much bigger now, almost Tyler-size and goes out without one of us chaperoning now, although she only stays out three hours or less at a time. She's our little Egyptian Mau/Bengal mix and is highly intelligent, plus she's very food-motivated. Randy has had some success at training her. Tyler has settled directly in front of the fan that is drawing the cooler air in from the outside. She's sad that Don, her MealMan, has banned her from the bedroom, but she'll repeatedly wake him during the night if he lets her in. Spats is deep in sleep on a carpet runner next to the music bookshelves.

Last night Randy and I went out to watch the lunar eclipse, the first time I've ever seen one, in spite of my nocturnal predilections! Tonight we've both mentioned going to the gym, but neither of us is making a move to get ready, so I don't think we'll make it. I am trying to do some gentle exercise again. A recent appt. with a nutritionist has reminded me how important it can be to help control my blood sugars. Most likely my weight gain is due to the fatigue and pain from fibro. I'm trying to eat as per the South Beach Diet, but it is hard to stay with high fiber carbohydrates all the time. A 'no sugar added' milkshake is very cooling in the summer heat. We buy Breyers brand and a store brand low carb ice cream sold by Vons. Sugar free Popsicles are great too. I snack on low fat string cheese or nuts. I also work at drinking a goodly amount of water, iced this time of year, everyday. We drink filtered water, the stuff you can get from a water bottle filling machine, like Glacier Water. The water in Escondido is fluoridated now and we prefer purer water. We even use filtered water to make our ice cubes.

When I look back, although I am still overweight, I realize that I eat so much healthier now and much smaller portions too. I used to make casseroles and Hamburger Helper when I lived alone and often I ate half or all of the recipe the first evening I cooked it. Although I switched to fresh fruits when I moved out of my parents' house, I still ate a lot of canned veggies. Over the past 10 years or so I've stopped eating hamburger, unless I get a burger at a restaurant. I much prefer the taste of ground turkey or chicken. My cholesterol is about 180 which is good for most people, but new guidelines for diabetics does now push for a 100 reading. I can't take statins and the alternative is Zetia, which upsets my stomach after a few weeks, so I'm looking at taking the new Promise Activ Yogurt Shots during the week that I have to forego taking the Rx, although I haven't found them yet. You know, if you go to a bookstore's site, like Barnes and Noble, you can find out if they have the book you're looking for, no problem. I've gone to the sites of 4 grocery stores, Trader Joe's, Albertsons, Vons and Stater Bros. and not a one allows you to search for a specific item! Now how dumb is that?

Is there a Carlton Sheppard in the House?

I just wanted to follow up on my bridge collapse worries. I did get in touch with both sides of my family in St. Paul, MN and everyone is accounted for, no one I know was on that bridge that day. Calling my cousin Cheryl may result in my setting her up a website, so that's good! But the Twin Cities Police Dept. has called me repeatedly, at least 3 times now, even though I have assured them that my family is all accounted for, because of a glitch, I guess you'd call it. They wanted all the names, but that would have been 7 or more names to go through. So I gave them last names: Carlton, Sheppard, MacDonald, and Neisch. Although I have explained that, they keep calling me to see if Carlton Sheppard has been accounted for yet! Maybe I should use that name in one of my novels, it seems very believable, LOL!

Finally, Some News That Would Make Robert Fulghum Proud and Some That is Making Catholics Cringe

Remember that great book, Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten? Well here is a medical blog entry that upholds one of its premises. Napping Makes You Smarter! Who knew? I do remember that when I was in 1st Grade a family friend took care of me after school and she wanted to do the right thing, so she would try and get me to practice my printing and spelling. It would just put me in the worst mood! I complained to my mom and she asked the sweet lady not to push me. See, if I'd just taken a nap, it would have been all better. I think I should write and tell her so. Yes, her name is Iris; she has outlived my mother by more that 20 years and I still write her when I can. So, she did get me to write, and spell well, after all!

A few years after that, while I was in 3rd grade, my mom came into possession of a 6th grade reader, because she worked for the church and, by extension, the parochial school I attended. I started reading it with perfect comprehension and my love for reading was born. Not much longer after that I began running out of reading materials, but not before I read all the way through the sex education book my mom had bought to read to me. She had paperclipped the more explicit pages together, but I read those too. Soon she had to declare even the Reader's Digest Condensed Books in our book cupboard okay for me to read. She would caution me, after a trip to the library, to ration my reading, but once I got started I couldn't stop.

Speaking of sex education at a young age, Fox 25 News in Boston announced that the city has a problem with a billboard too close to the Catholic School in Dorchester. You can see the piece they did on it here...Condom Billboard Placement Leaves Residents Shaking Heads. I have mixed thoughts on this one. For one thing, the last I heard the Catholic Church was still not condoning birth control, but these kids will have to face that reality sooner or later. With kids experimenting with sex earlier and earlier, maybe it's not such a bad idea. The lady who runs the nearby daycare center says she doesn't want to have to explain it to her 8 year old son, though. And, obviously the Church has some clout, because the last thing the reporter says is that the billboard will be gone by the time school starts!

Bridge Collapse

I have spent a few hours now, watching the Minneapolis bridge collapse coverage. I have a lot of relatives there, mostly in St. Paul, but they certainly might work in or have been on errands to their Twin City. I called the Red Cross number, but they don't have any names at this point. Scared me pretty bad, because I got a call back very shortly afterwards. They wanted to know first names, but we're talking whole families here! Anyway, they said to check on http://www.safeandwell.org/ tomorrow. By then I can call relatives, too. If they are safe and well, I don't want to disturb their rest. Good chance they have lost friends and maybe relatives on the other side of their respective families.

A few good things that may have saved people. Yes it was rush hour, but traffic on the bridge was down to 2 lanes on the collapsed side because of the roadwork. Also, as Randy pointed out, it was summer, so the river wasn't frozen, plus some people may have had their windows down, so if they hit the water they may have been able to get out the window. On the other hand, it may have been the jackhammer activity that caused the collapse and, we're thinking, the freight train below may also have contributed. We think it may have been harmonic resonance that caused it. I'm wondering how many went into the water and if they were on top of one another, that could have complicated getting out of cars. Some people were so in shock that they couldn't immediately understand what was happening to them. There'll be no more news until it's morning there, which would be around 4 or so our time. All I can do is leave the situation and the people in God's hands.

So, I wonder sometimes if anyone even reads this stuff. I never get any comments, but then, I have visited others' blogs and not commented. I suppose this is a journal of sorts, but I don't totally bare my soul here. I hope that some of my friends read here, to keep up with what's going on in my life. If that's who you are, I'd love it if you left me a comment/note to say you've been here.

Does this bother anyone else? We were watching Cartoon Network the other night. First off, they were pushing a movie, one featuring the characters that are fast food, can't remember the name right now, Like the Hunger Force or something. So they put the movie in a tiny window on the bottom left of the screen and then do ads about it that cover 1/2 to 3/4 of the TV screen, even blotting out a character's face in the cartoon we were watching! The other thing I hate is when the ad in the middle of the show makes noise over the soundtrack. If they didn't all do it, I would boycott, but my brain can't handle that much silence in a day; I need something to keep my mind from thinking about the pain. It's still extremely irritating though! Any ideas how we can get them to stop? I'm thinking on it.

The Judge's Decison Came!

I finally received the judge's decision on my SSI case today. I should be getting what was alluded to at the hearing, they say my true disability began in Feb. '05. Apparently it has to do with some of the back problems I have, which is actually good, because it's doubtful that will change for the better, so when it comes time to see if I'm still disabled, things should be at least the same. It looks like it will still be a while until I actually receive any checks. i had been hoping to go to a Joyce Meyer conference in L.A. in mid-July, but it looks like I'll have to wait for another time. Maybe it will be closer to home next time.

Here's a Lens in Your Eye

I’m afraid I was a Swiss Cheese Head again; I was supposed to check that Friday was okay for my cataract surgery and I totally forgot. So when I went in on Wed. for my pre-op appt., I was caught off guard. Fortunately they went ahead and put me on the surgery schedule, so I have now had the cataract on my left eye removed.

What I hadn’t expected is that part of the surgery is putting an artificial lens into my eye. I have a little card now that describes the lens strength, etc., so weird! I had thought that a cataract was a separate piece over my eye, like a blister, but from what I now understand, it lays right on the eye so they must remove the natural lens, which must then be replaced for proper vision. They actually tape your eyelashes back and put a plastic tube over the eye so that you can’t close it. I had to stare up into a very bright light, but as Dr. Prestera had said, the work was so close up that I couldn’t see any details of what was going on. The exception was that when he laid the new lens on my eye, it changed the clarity of what I could see a tiny bit. The other thing was that since I was NPO, I was somewhat dehydrated and they couldn’t get a vein for an IV, so I had to endure the surgery sans anesthetic. They didn’t plan to put me to completely sleep, but it would have helped me relax somewhat…afterwards my BP was a little high! It was all a bit off-putting, but now that it’s done I don’t feel anything different, except that my eye throbs occasionally. Now I know what to expect for the right eye. To protect my eye they taped a clear shield over it. When Don saw me, he began teasing me that I was a Borg, a la Star Trek! I guess it would make for a great Halloween costume, with a bit of Randy’s makeup magic. ;p

Memorial Weekend

It's strange, because I really hadn't thought about this in particular for years, but this year I am acutely aware that this is the time of year my mother passed away. I remember all the flags on the other graves, at the gravesite. Last year I was at Potrero War for this weekend, but we are talking at least 20 years or more ago. Okay, I just figured out the math; she died in 1983, so it was 24 years ago! So why now? No idea, guess I have to wait and see if there is a reason.

This year I'm home with the cats, while Don & Randy are down in Potrero; it's their first trial run with the new pavilion for The Open Arms Bardic Hall. No one was signing up for the performance time slots; hopefully they signed up once they got there! I've just had so many weeks of late where I ended up overdoing it and then losing the rest of the week to exhaustion.

So far Tyler has attacked my arm when I reached for the TV remote and Skittle has bitten me about 5 times when I've tried to discipline her. I used arnica salve on the scratch/bruise from Tyler and it already seems to be fading some. I love our cats, but I sure do hate the scratches and bites. With Skittle I figure it's a kitten thing and she is possibly a feral baby. But Tyler never used to do this. She almost bit my nose the other day; I just managed to pull my head back far enough for her to miss. For sure when my settlement comes in, I need to have her seen. A lot of the attacks seem to relate to her paws being touched or moved, so maybe she is getting arthritis in them. With Amanda we used to give her Rescue Remedy. She would wobble around, I think it made her a tad tipsy, but she stopped her constant complaining.

I went to a group mtg (my first) for Project Dulce and asked Lisa about going on to phase two of the South Beach program, since I can't seem to manage to get through the first phase. She said that's fine, so now my eating is easier now. I also got pre-cooked chicken from Henry's, for this weekend.

My plan for the weekend is to work on my bedroom and I also want to make a few phone calls, to Sherrie and to Carol, my friend in TX. So far I've not done much of anything but watch TV and eat! Now I need to do some dishes! That won't be fun, it gives me a terrible backache. I guess I'll do it in short spurts. Don was just too tired from packing for Potrero to do it before they left. Anyway, I'm just blathering on about stuff that no one else probably even cares to read about. So I'm out of here.

Mini-brainstorm

I had a brainstorm yesterday. Nothing earth-shaking, but it solves a problem in the household. When I have my laptop in the living room, I need the light on to see the keyboard, but using the overhead light bothers Randy and the only lamp in the room is next to the couch she stretches out on. I have been waiting to get to Borders, because the chorus gave me a $20 gift card as my 'retiring president' gift, but today we decided to go to the mall, because Randy got a little massager that was perfect for doing acupressure points, but it had stopped working before 2 days had gone by and she wanted to return it. (Wait for it, I'm gonna connect these in a minute! ;) Today is her birthday and I wanted to get her a gift. Anyway, I also realized that Borders and Waldenbooks are the same company, so I went to the one in the mall and got...Tah-Dah...a book light, a well as another Pern book by Anne and Todd McCaffrey. The book light clips neatly on the laptop, the LED should never burn out and it uses AAA batteries. I can see what I need to without turning the overhead light on, we save electricity and Randy will be happy that it isn't shining in her eyes! Oh, and her gift is very cool, I found a commuter mug that plugs into the lighter socket! She will love it, if the bottom of the mug fits well into the cup holder; which it looks like is should!

Went to CVS. You may have read my previous rant on that subject; things have improved some, although the one pharmacist continues to make things more difficult when he can. Anyway, I now have become chatty with the pharmacy asst. whom we have nicknamed 'Fishface' (although not to her face) and I mentioned that I will be transferring to Medi-Cal once the SSI kicks in and asked if the RX coverage is better. Turns out they only cover 6 RXs a month and the rest have to be done as TARs (Treatment Authorization Releases)! Eek, that will be 6 or more TARs for my Dr. to write up. I thought this was going to be better and now come to find out it may be harder to get the meds I need! I will try and not stress out about this until I have confirmed this as a fact and see if my Dr. is bothered by it. I'm sure she has other patients on Medi-Cal.

Yesterday I actually got my annual letter written. I always have great intentions of writing to my friends and family more often, but it rarely ever happens. Huh, kind of like my novel writing. Right now I am waiting until I get the desk in my room, because I feel very self-conscious about talking to the computer in front of Don & Randy. Silly, I know, but there it is, it's a problem. I have emailed the link (I publish it online for my web-savvy friends and family) to a bunch of people and now have to sit down and figure out whose emails have become defunct and whether or not I have alternate contact info for them. Next I begin printing it and mailing it out to those holdouts who still use snail mail. That reminds me...I need to add to that letter that my cell phone is not working right and I need people's phone numbers. Dang, I loved having all my numbers in the cell phone, because I used to have to carry a sheet of my most often called numbers. We'll see what kind of a settlement I get; I may just replace the stupid thing. I also saw a cute little Dell laptop (the Dell XPS M1210, to be precise) at the mall that I want to check out, it is way smaller, which would be an advantage; this one is heavy and bulkier than my old ThinkPad, which surprised me. Oh the plans I have for that money! I'm guessing/hoping that it will be around $9,000. I'll have a whopper tithe, most of which will go to the little Costa Mesa church I had to give up going to when the drive became too much.

Tomorrow I plan to start the South Beach plan. I only have to give up bread and potatoes and after 2 weeks whole grain bread is allowed. Yams are allowed, but the baked potato will now be relegated to an infrequent treat, sigh. Tonight we are going to D&B's with Eben, since it is his birthday this week also. Must go check my email now.

TTFN

Contemplation

The death of a co-worker's husband has shaken Don. It upset Randy too, because it reminded her that either Don or myself could be gone forever as well. For myself, though, well I am amazed that I am still around. I never thought my life would be very long, because I have so many medical problems. I was happy to live past 44, which is the age my mother was when she died of diabetic complications. Now I'll be 50 in less than 2 years. Living with my friends has given me a security I never had while living on my own, or even with roommates.

This video from YouTube is inspirational!

Partay!

Today totally rocked...I WON!!! The Administrative Law Judge decided I am definitely disabled as of 2005. He will look at the medical records again to see if I am eligible for any back pay on my first filing, keeping in mind that the Federal Court sent it back for review due to the lack of weight given to personal letters from several friends, stating the disabling problems they had observed. So hopefully in about 3 months my SSI will kick-in.

I feel so vindicated! All the denials bothered me and made me wonder if I was just being a wimp about my pain and other problems. Even before my lawyer questioned me, the court-appointed Dr. said I was eligible beginning in '05. I had prayed that the judge would say something one way or the other and God answered. Thank you GOD and thank you to all my friends who believed in me. Party in my little corner of the world tonight, come on over!

This is one of the first pictures we took of Skittle, she was so small when Don brought her home! Now her head is about the size of all of her at this size. She is very energized, our million mile an hour cat. We are still debating what her breed(s) could be. I'm leaning towards Bengal/Egyptian Mau mix. Her ears have small tufts of fur at their tips and she doesn't have spots or stripes, but a cross between.

My SSDI hearing is this Thursday. I can't believe it's finally going to happen, It's been about 5 years since there was any activity on my case and they have combined both cases together, so it's win or lose. I'm praying hard!

We have been without a second car because a rock took out the oil and transmission pans on the station wagon. Don ordered parts, but only the oil pan has come in so far. Besides that, Randy was double-booked for next weekend, so there is a good chance I will miss my niece's birthday party for the first time. I am just waiting too see what happens. That lucky kid has had a party every year so far. I remember one for my 5th and one for my 7th. A slumber party at 13 or so. None for a very long time, except a cake a few times. We always had a cake when Mom was alive, but neither Tam or I are that talented at baking. Of course, Mom used to put them together with toothpicks if they fell apart! I think I might want to celebrate 50. There was a long time there that I didn't think I'd live that long. Especially when I was working! Living past the age that my mother died at was sort of surreal.

I'm off to do a few tasks before I go to bed. TTFN

Blogging for Cats and More

The kitten has now her own blog at the Hello Kitty Sanrio site. http://blog.hellokitty.com/skittlekitty/ if you're interested. The bed is no longer a refuge from her, as she found me there last night! She scales furniture, it's amazing! Next I need to update Da Tyler Monster's blog.

I found a program that records the music from internet radio as MP3's. Should be a cool way to get more music for my player. Maybe I can get those 2 songs I really want. That, plus the TalkIt TypeIt program and a Sudoku program for my dad, all for just over $40. Am hoping that, since IE7 is a Microsoft program, I'll also be able to use the voice recognition program online. I know it works on AIM. I expect a big jump in productivity once it's implemented. My typing, simply put, SUCKS! I am constantly going back to fix typos, which I try to avoid at all costs, being a perfectionist English major. If it doesn't work online, I can always record it in NotePad and copy it over. It even comes with its own headset/microphone. If it's not here by tomorrow it should come sometime next week.

Went with Randy to her Dr's. appt. yesterday, then we had lunch at Major Market and got a few things there, including dry kitten food and my favorite lo carb ice cream, Breyers LC Mint Chip, as well as some stuff at Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's rocks, as a lot of what we buy there is cheaper than at the grocery stores. Especially cereals, which the stores want about $4 - $5 per box for and we get for $3 or so. They are the only ones with a decent carb reading on tomato soup, which I love and have really missed. Too bad they stopped carrying the lo carb pasta; now the only one that tastes edible is Dreamfield. I'm thinking of trying South Beach, as I'm gaining and gaining although I'm not overeating. It's probably the insulin. But only 20 carbs on Atkins is really hard! We'll see what happens, we'd have to get the book, unless I can find out what to eat and not to eat online. Last time I searched I couldn't find that, the Dr. who wrote it has cornered his own market very well.

I'm afraid I'm going to lose my Food Stamps, because the office that my Dr. moved to can't keep track of things and I believe they've once again lost the form to fill out to say that I'm not able to work. Must also copy the new SSI paperwork and get it off to the lawyer; we ran out of time yesterday. Paperwork is my personal hell. I have a huge mental block against filling paperwork out! A lot of it is an allergic reaction to red tape! LOL.

Darn Blogger Anyway!

I can't believe it! Blogger implemented its new format and has basically forced everyone to reinvent their blogs. I am so not sure I will stay with this blog now. I may have just messed things up, too, because as usual they don't explain things adequately and I might have filled part of the sign-up form out wrong. I thought I still had the Tap My Brain title and used it in signing back up and then it said that the Tap My Brain address wasn't available. Well duh, it's been used by me! So if you need to know, my old blog is at http://tapmybrain.blogger.com, although I don't know how long it will remain there.

I guess the biggest news is that we now have a new kitten. I was hoping, but Randy was pushing for a puppy. Anyway these kittens were found out behind Don's office building. We think they were about 3 weeks old and that someone left them there in the hopes that they would find homes. So we've had the interesting job of teaching the little one to drink from a bottle and to use a cat box. We named her Skittle and she has done very well. She's now eating canned kitten food, supplemented by as much of the big cats' food as she can steal. We think it's because she was without food for a good while before she was rescued. I wanted to put up her picture, but the add a picture function doesn't seem to be working on the "new and improved" Blogger.

We had a fun holiday season. I got an MP3 player and I love it. I feel like it's made my music available to me again. Don just picked up a gizmo that allows you to record from other media, like a tape player or record player and put it in MP3 format on a media stick. From there you can move it wherever you'd like. I plan to reformat many of my Christian music tapes and transfer them to the MP3 player. Mine also plays the Window Media Format, so I can copy CD's to my computer and from there to the player. I have found some good music online for free and have copied many of my CD's as well. There are just 2 songs I haven't been able to find by the original artists that I'd really like to have for the player, The Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler and That's What Friends Are For by Dionne Warwick. Both of those songs have strong connections with friends who have passed on for me. I may end up using I-Tunes. I guess that paying around $2.00 isn't so bad.